Ban Salt in New York City? Government, not Girls, Gone Wild
Newsflash……World Not Ending in 2012
Screw waiting until 2012 for the world to end……the Mayans were two years too late. That’s right, I am convinced that the destruction of mankind is much closer than we think. After all, we have seen several signs of the upcoming apocalypse such as:
However, there are 2 more developments that seal the deal.
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Guns don’t Kill People. Salt and Trans Fatty Acids Kill People
There is absolutely no doubt we are doomed when a bill is introduced in the New York Legislature that, if passed, would ban the use of salt in restaurant cooking. As if the city wide ban on Trans fat wasn’t bad enough, they are going after that nasty chemical that is manufactured by the metric ton by threatening artificial chemical plants such as “The Ocean”.
A Salt with a deadly Weapon
The proposed bill, A. 10129 , states in part that, “No owner or operator of a restaurant in this state shall use salt in any form in the preparation of any food for consumption by customers of such restaurant, including food prepared to be consumed on the premises of such restaurant or off of such premises”
Do you think that the morons that we call legislators are somehow misguided, mistakenly thinking that the salt in the “Dead Sea” is actually deadly to humans? Or maybe they think that since drinking ocean water will make you sick, salt in food could do the same?
Unfortunately, none of these reasons hold any merit. The real culprit is the fact that politicians believe in big government imposing more and more rules in our daily lives. Don’t get me wrong, eating a ton of salt probably isn’t the most healthy thing a person could do. However, our government continues to protect its citizens from another deadly menace……ourselves.
A New Evil has Declared War against America
Screw worrying about Muslim Fanatics. The United States of America is under assault by a threat by a force that kills without mercy, targets men, women, and children without hesitation, and does it all while managing help the environment by saving you money at the pump. No, not Hugo Chavez……I am talking about the Toyota Prius.
The Toyota Prius is already targeting American citizens, as evidenced by the car trying to kill a California man last week by accelerating and not stopping despite the man’s cries.
Prius - Wanted Dead or Alive
San Diego resident James Sikes, 61, was the subject of a highly publicized incident on a Southern California freeway March 8. Sikes said his Prius’s gas pedal stuck, causing his car to speed to 94 mph. He was able to stop the vehicle after calling 911 and receiving instructions from a state trooper who pulled his cruiser alongside the speeding hybrid.
However, while this Prius attack failed, there are multiple others in the works, as reports of Prius cells coming across the border have law enforcement and the military scrambling to contain the threat. However, the government authorities are working at a disadvantage, since they aren’t allowed to discriminate against small compact Toyota cars due to the politically correct cries of model and make auto profiling.
So hold onto your loved ones, and prepare for the end of the world. After all, I just heard a breaking news story about a Toyota Prius racing out of control towards New York City. The commentator said that the rogue car had a dirty salt bomb laced with Trans Fatty Acids, and was last seen breaking the law by smoking a cigarette in a state mandated non smoking sports bar.
What I love (and fear) most is that Ahmadinejad is like the President of Bizzaro America, throwing all of our nationalistic military rhetoric right back at our face, but so transparently threatening, that it makes me realize just how much we use threats to intimidate other countries. It’s a veritable neocon mash-up of statements and proclamations that reveal a dangerous and violent ideology. Wait, who am I talking about?